Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Laugh it out!!
For the sick!!
A little girl was attending a church service with her mother when she started to complain that she was feeling unwell.
"I think I need to throw up," said the girl.
"Well, go outside," said the mother, "and use the bushes by the front door of the church."
The little girl went off but was back less than a minute later.
"That was quick," said the mother. "Did you throw up?"
"Yes, but I didn't need to go outside. I used a box near the door that says 'For the sick'."
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.
"Well," said the farmer, "it was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns."
"Praise choruses?" said his wife. "What are those?"
"Oh, they're OK. They are sort of like hymns, only different," said the farmer.
"Well, what's the difference?" asked his wife.
The farmer said, "Well, it's like this - If I were to say to you: "Martha, the cows are in the corn"' - well, that would be a hymn. If on the other hand, I were to say to you:
'Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, the CORN, CORN, CORN.'
Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well, that would be a praise chorus."
A husband and wife were going through a rocky phase and were giving each other the silent treatment.
One day, at the height of hostilities, he realised that he needed his wife to wake him at 5 a.m. so that he could catch an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he wrote on a piece of paper: "Please wake me at 5 a.m."
The next morning, he woke to discover that it was 9 a.m. and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to confront his wife when he noticed a piece of paper on his pillow.
The paper read: "It is 5 a.m. Wake up."